While I was being a shitty parent one post ago, I forgot to mention the numerous times I thought to say:
"You know... some parents sell their kids into prostitution by the time they're your age. Others (usually in Florida) take their kids out to the woods, murder and bury them, go to parties hours later and get all surprised and indignant when they get caught by Nancy Grace because they didn't think anyone would notice. Don't you watch CNN? Some folks, I've heard, have even wished that the Goblin King would come take their kids to his castle so they can be eaten by puppet monsters while dancing to David Bowie songs. So, when I tell you that it's time to turn off the fucking TV and go take a bath, maybe you ought to just do it, instead of tempting fate by telling me I'm a bad dad. A really bad dad would unplug the TV and make you sleep in the trunk of the car with an alligator with sharp teeth. Is that something you might want to try out for a few nights? Then get the fuck upstairs, you fucking fuck. Thank you."
I should probably feel bad for admitting that, but I don't.
(Does every blog post have a minimum text requirement? Hmm... let's get some filler in here.)
I was watching Dancing with the Stars last night because I'm a huge punk and, for some reason, I started wondering whether or not there are people out there watching the show and plotting to do relatively asinine stunts like marrying the Alaskan governor's daughter or dangling themselves upside down in a park for 4 days in an attempt to gain enough fleeting fame to qualify for the show.
Like... I know people will generally debase themselves to any degree to get on reality shows at this point. Are there people who see fame as a stepping stool to reality shows instead of seeing a reality show as a stepping stool to fame? Which is the actual goal of the crazy person at this point? The actual fame or the retarded TMZ fuel that being on a reality show comes with.
Consult your local crazy person and let me know. Thanks!
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