I like to eat foods with a lot of herbs and spices in them. Not just because these foods are tasty, but also because some herbs and spices have secret medicinal properties, and, what if I have a rare disease that I don't know about? Drinking an entire bottle of hot sauce every week might be the only thing treating my secret toxoplasmosis.
Am I willing to stop taking these potentially homeopathic prevantative measures just because the Surgeon General tells me I should? Of course not. I fail to see any flaw in my reasoning.
On a side note, I've decided I'd also like to own a group of wild horses.
For one, I could bring them with me to Rolling Stones concerts just to see how full of shit Mick Jagger really is. That alone would be worth the cost of the massive, massive hay bills. But mainly, I'd just like to keep them in my garage to prove points to my asshole friends.
Cynical friend (asshole): "Oh come on. You can't want KFC that much, man."
Me: "Get a bucket and meet me in the fucking garage."
Cynical friend (asshole): "Isn't that where you keep the..."
Me: "Bucket. Garage. Let's do this thing."
3 comments:
I think it's important to note that this is the only place in the internet, if not the entire world, that includes the phrase "massive hay bills." I almost feel like this should be a euphemism for "massive balls."
Hmmm...KFC is only good for their popcorn chicken in my book. There is something almost processed in their other stuff that grosses me out.
I entirely blame my lack of KFC eatin' on the fact that I can't consume fried chicken at the same time as I eat biscuits or my endocrine system would shut down entirely within 20 minutes of swallowing.
If you own all of these wild horses and then keep them in your garage...just how wild are they, exactly?
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