Begging For Your Company Everything

Train of thought here. Something that's always bugged me, but never enough to scream about it down the empty hallway we call the internet.

We, as Americans, are in love with the concept of the secret organization. If you're talking about an out-in-the-open group, like the Red Hat Ladies or the Shooter's Club down at the Moose Antler Lodge, odds are people are going to give you a dirty look, because we don't like that sort of thing. We're afraid they're going to slow down the staff at our favorite restaurants or something when they saunter about on their weekend adventures. Public organizations are for assholes and failures, as far as we're concerned.

But, turn on any movie and there's a good chance that part of the plot is driven by a secret organization. Maybe it's the government organization of secret spies and assassins trained in the martial arts in an attempt to protect the world from ZarCON. Maybe it's the underground cabal of rogues and thieves putting together a plan to steal weapon design schematics for the eccentric millionaire tycoon. (Who doesn't love a good cabal?) Perhaps it's the powerful tribunal of college deans that secretly decides which fraternities will be allowed to compete in the annual athletic event during which many comedic hijinks will occur. Why is this? We love secret organizations. We need to believe that somehow, some way, the government employs guys like Jason Bourne to go to France and punch people. It's in our DNA.

So... when these government reports come out showing that the government is spending something like $100k on toilets, why does everyone get up in arms? Does it require such a leap of faith to accept that $99k of that is actually going toward teaching Angelina Jolie how to shoot bullets around corners? How would it look if Wolf Blitzer was on CNN saying "According to this ledger, the government used the bailout funds to offer loans to 3 banks, build new facilities for 7 construction firms in the midwest and... hold on... what's this here about building a team of ninja androids? And they're paying Dennis Quaid to train them?"

People... it'll make things easier for you if you just accept that this is the way things get done. You don't want to be invaded by the currently suppressed alien forces any more than I do.

Okay - final note for ayone who might be skimming.

I'm watching this Rock Bus show, or whatever it's called (okay, I've seen two episodes and during one I was slightly dehydrated and tired) and... is it just me, or does Bret Michaels not have the ability to tell the difference between sexy and really, really fucking disgusting?

He's like, "Oh man... I was walking down that alley and I saw Tammy sucking a fart out of her own ass. The way she pursed her lips and wrapped them around her own anus... that's just all kinds of sexy. I can't wait to get her alone on a date."

Or has Bret basically spent the last 20 years fucking so many women that traditional things can't even turn him on anymore? Like he needs to see a woman with a high heeled shoe hanging out of her vagina before he can even begin to get aroused? I don't get it.